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Thursday, February 14, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Memories
I am still amazed how God works in our lives. I have been missing Logan and Lauren almost as much as my sister in past months. I didn't get to see them at Christmas this year which just added insult to injury and have only seen them a couple of times since July.
My greatest fear when Sandi died was that I would lose Logan and Lauren as well. I live 4 hours from them and their Dad's mom has been helping with them as she is lucky enough to live in the same town. I am so glad that the kids have her there, Mike works a lot in his new job and he would be struggling even more without her help and support.
That said, they have kind of gotten into their own routine and unless we call and ask, we are not a part of that routine. Until December, I was not even aware that Logan had started to play the Clarinet in band. (Sandi is cursing whoever made that choice right now, She HATED the clarinet and out of all of the possible instruments that was the ONE she said she didn't want him playing!) I have struggled on the inside with resentment that we seem to be left out of their lives but then I argue with myself that I am just not able to be there. The point is what is best for the kids.
Mom and I were talking and decided that what we really wanted was to be able to spend some time with the kids by ourselves as they were who we were missing the most! Mom brought the kids down last night and it has been so good to see them. I love that Lauren will sit on the couch and cuddle with me. We plan to spend time this weekend just reconnecting. I am sure there will be more on this later.
One of the crazy God things in this whole thing is that I heard from Sandi's college roomate last night, Kathryn hadn't even heard that Sandi was sick, much less had passed away and she has am amazing touching post on her new blog that came at the same time as the kids. I guess we are supposed to be thinking of Sandi right now.
Sandi...We are trying!
My greatest fear when Sandi died was that I would lose Logan and Lauren as well. I live 4 hours from them and their Dad's mom has been helping with them as she is lucky enough to live in the same town. I am so glad that the kids have her there, Mike works a lot in his new job and he would be struggling even more without her help and support.
That said, they have kind of gotten into their own routine and unless we call and ask, we are not a part of that routine. Until December, I was not even aware that Logan had started to play the Clarinet in band. (Sandi is cursing whoever made that choice right now, She HATED the clarinet and out of all of the possible instruments that was the ONE she said she didn't want him playing!) I have struggled on the inside with resentment that we seem to be left out of their lives but then I argue with myself that I am just not able to be there. The point is what is best for the kids.
Mom and I were talking and decided that what we really wanted was to be able to spend some time with the kids by ourselves as they were who we were missing the most! Mom brought the kids down last night and it has been so good to see them. I love that Lauren will sit on the couch and cuddle with me. We plan to spend time this weekend just reconnecting. I am sure there will be more on this later.
One of the crazy God things in this whole thing is that I heard from Sandi's college roomate last night, Kathryn hadn't even heard that Sandi was sick, much less had passed away and she has am amazing touching post on her new blog that came at the same time as the kids. I guess we are supposed to be thinking of Sandi right now.
Sandi...We are trying!
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