Memories

I am still amazed how God works in our lives. I have been missing Logan and Lauren almost as much as my sister in past months. I didn't get to see them at Christmas this year which just added insult to injury and have only seen them a couple of times since July.

My greatest fear when Sandi died was that I would lose Logan and Lauren as well. I live 4 hours from them and their Dad's mom has been helping with them as she is lucky enough to live in the same town. I am so glad that the kids have her there, Mike works a lot in his new job and he would be struggling even more without her help and support.

That said, they have kind of gotten into their own routine and unless we call and ask, we are not a part of that routine. Until December, I was not even aware that Logan had started to play the Clarinet in band. (Sandi is cursing whoever made that choice right now, She HATED the clarinet and out of all of the possible instruments that was the ONE she said she didn't want him playing!) I have struggled on the inside with resentment that we seem to be left out of their lives but then I argue with myself that I am just not able to be there. The point is what is best for the kids.

Mom and I were talking and decided that what we really wanted was to be able to spend some time with the kids by ourselves as they were who we were missing the most! Mom brought the kids down last night and it has been so good to see them. I love that Lauren will sit on the couch and cuddle with me. We plan to spend time this weekend just reconnecting. I am sure there will be more on this later.

One of the crazy God things in this whole thing is that I heard from Sandi's college roomate last night, Kathryn hadn't even heard that Sandi was sick, much less had passed away and she has am amazing touching post on her new blog that came at the same time as the kids. I guess we are supposed to be thinking of Sandi right now.

Sandi...We are trying!

Movies....

	My Flixster

Some of you may have noticed...

If you were very observant you may have noticed that I have changed the name of my blog. I hate that I don't have time to knit as much as I would like but it seemed wrong to keep considering my blog to be a knit blog when I haven't picked up needles in months and didn't even attempt to knit anything for anyone else for Christmas. I haven't given up entirely but did decide that it was not really honest to call it a knit blog any longer!

More later!

One more...

Not that I don't love you Tiffany, but the video loop was getting hard to take all the time so I needed to post to make it move to the older posts! Good night!

And she continues......with a glass of wine in hand....

Ok, so Kevin and I went to Omaha for a week in December. Lots of fun,got to see friends we hadn't seen since the twins were 6 months old. Lots of snow, liked that most of all! It was crazy to go to Westroads mall and be where that poor boy killed so many people just a few days before. I did make one of the thousands of snowflakes to put on the wall, when you were there that was just something you felt you had to do. It was very quiet and respectful, sad too. We both had a hard time getting home that week, it was snowing when we left Omaha, I kind of miss that though, I really like snow and to never see it anymore is one of those things that I have to give up. I originally told my friends that I was going to make sure Kevin didn't do anything stupid like get us transferred but I did enjoy it, it is a town that makes me feel like I am at home. It is probably a good idea though that I not go back until we are significantly more wealthy because I did decide not to buy the yarn for the sweater I wanted to knit that would have cost me over $450 to knit but I would have a hard time saying no a second time! Some things are just meant to be! I found that I still love Omaha, it is a great city and feels like home. I still feel like a baby when I am with the people that Kevin works with but that changes every year.

As soon as I got back from Omaha it was time to jump back in to PTO stuff (I may have overloaded myself this year! Repeat after me....I WILL NOT BE THE PTO PRESIDENT EVER AGAIN!...someone hold me to this please, I need to focus elsewhere!)We did the dinner for the teachers and then it was time to be room mom (ok, the above proclamation goes for room mom too!) for (get this) BOTH of the classes that the girls are in! I am team mom for Katie's class of 130 students and the twins class of 25. I actually don't remember signing up for either of these responsibilities but the twins teacher knows me too well and since I sub on Katie's team almost daily they just assumed I would do it! Sadly, they were right! Then it was Christmas break and we had the super fast day at mom and dad's then on to Kevin's mom and dad's for a night and then back home so that I could leave with mom and dad to go to Florida for a few days to see my aunt who has been diagnosed with Lung cancer.


As hard as the first Christmas was without Sandi it was even harder to not be able to see the kids. I miss being in Logan and Lauren's lives so much it hurts, Sandi would come back and haunt me if she could so that just goes to show that God has her busy, really busy or she would be all over me right now! Mom is bringing them down next week so I get to see them soon, Can't wait!
We did have fun in Florida. We took two days to drive down there and then spent three days there and drove home in one. I got to see my cousins Mike and Rick and their respective son's Michael and Ricky (unique huh!). I hadn't seen Mike since the summer I graduated from high school ( that is a story that is entirely too long to blog right now) and hadn't seen Rick since the summer before my Senior year in high school. It was good to see them, better if my other two cousins would have been there too and if it had been under different circumstances. There was a lot of reminiscing about Sandi and dire predictions about my Aunt's prognosis. We took her to the hospital to have a blood test run and it was very strange to be back in a hospital with a cancer patient after spending three months taking care of Sandi last spring. Maureen and Dick both seem to be handling things very well and both have a spiritual view of things, that I guess makes it easier. I still worry about dad and how well he will handle things but that is another blog waiting to happen I suppose.

We got back from Florida late on the 30th and spent new years eve at Stacey and Don's where they made us feel loved as the only Missouri fans in the Razorback state! We did however enjoy the following day when the tigers embarrassed the razorbacks in a major way! It makes you feel good to me a Missourian!

Of course Kevin got to watch the game while I drove to Missouri again (on about an hour of sleep) to pick up the girls!

A few days at home and the kids finally went back to school for a day before I had to leave for Dallas where I got to attend a school for youth ministry. It was a great week and I will save a lot of that for another time when I have more time to go into everything I discovered that week. I am still tired from that trip, classes all day and fellowship each evening left me tired and I have been so pumped up about my ministry since my return that I find it hard to stop working! I may need to take a break and practice my new found skills at texas hold-em! And finally, for those of you who wanted to see a pic of me with short hair(you know who you are)...here ya go....

Milk Tea & Noro

Does it get any better than that? I got home from Dallas at 1:30 am on Friday morning after an amazing faith filled week and found on my doorstep a package from the other side of the ocean! My dear friend Tiffany sent us a care package filled with goodies. The girls have been having a fun time trying to figure out what was in each of the packages. As I sit here eating asparagus sticks (really good) and drinking a glass of Milk Tea (really, REALLY good, you were right Tiff) I am looking at the remains of what was probably at one time a cookie similar to a fig newton. Sadly, plastic wrapped goodies don't hold up well to customs as they appear to have been taken out of the box, tossed around for a while with a tennis racket and crushed by some large object before being determined to be non-threatening and not of interest to national security and being replaced to be cushioned by my new yarn! Question Tiffany...Do you make REALLY Freakin Big socks on those DPN's? I love you gal, now Katie is really on board with a trip to Japan as soon as possible to visit!

I know that I have not posted to my blog in way longer than is excusable however, before you scream at me or begin emailing me nastygrams it has been a really long month and I have been wracking up the frequent flyer miles and putting an insane number of miles on the van! Travel with me if you will, waaaaayyyy back to the beginning of December when the madness and craziness got going.....


To be continued...