Adding to the Coffee Mug collection....

My dear friend Jo just posted her daughter Emily's performance of the Untitled Hymn at church this morning. I got the email as Kevin was replying to an email from a friend here inquiring why she hadn't seen us at her church for a while. She wondered if I had settled in more and if the kids were doing well. I have to say that both Kevin and I watched the video and were incredibly envious of our friends and loved ones getting to be at church and watch Emily in person today.

We have been here for 80 days now (could have gone around the world by now huh!) and we have settled in pretty well I think. Kevin is so much happier in his job, the girls love school and have made some good friends that all live near enough to walk to their homes and play and we are all enjoying volleyball. I have even made a few acquaintances and a good friend that lives just around the corner so I have someone to talk to once in a while. I think that kevin hit the nail on the head when he mentioned to Edna in his email that I am just not going to be happy until I am involved in a church again. It doesn't even have to be me running things, I just need to feel like I am at home there! I have taken for granted the feeling that you get from feeling loved and needed in your congregation. We have been feeling a huge hole in our lives since we got here that is exactly the same shape and size of Christ UMC in Cabot.

We have tried St. Andrews, the congregation that I came from the last time we lived here but it is about 15 miles from here and takes at least 25 minutes to get there if traffic isn't difficult. Doable but when there are 8 UMC congregations between here and there we decided to try some others before driving that far, besides, they have changed a lot since we were here 8 years ago.

When I contacted the people here on the Emmaus Board, I was invited to Spirit of Faith church. It is still about 12 miles but was worth trying out. It was a small start up church that we thought would make us feel like we were at home, setting up in a school each week and working a lot in missions and needing a youth minister sounded like it was right up our alley....Didn't work, it was too far to drive and they don't have any plans to build in the future. They like setting up each week and want to remain a mission church. That is great for them but we decided to keep looking.

The next one was the home church of Edna, a woman Kevin worked with at U.P. a few years ago. She left the railroad to work at Faith-Westwood UMC here. It is much closer to us and Katie loved the Youth program and the childrens program was good too but the sermons left both Kevin and I cold. I know it isn't about the pastor but if you don't like the sermons, church is much harder to get involved in. We gave it a few weeks and tried different services but still decided to keep looking.

Next on the list was the church where they host all of the Walk to Emmaus gatherings each month, Living Faith UMC. Still about 15 miles from us, long drive but we need to find somewhere and everything around us is lutheran or Catholic. Pastor Terry was great and Pastor Mike is great too but each week we kept comparing the music to Steve and the praise band at Christ UMC. Steve, I don't know if you will ever see this but you have totally ruined us for other praise bands....WE MISS YOU! We have attended Living Faith more than the other churches. It has a small church feel and is a newer church but has offices and a place to hold youth events. They also have a huge bunch of the congregation that has attended the walk and they are looking for a youth minister. All good things! Very good feeling here but there is the fact that it is a long way from home.

Yesterday as we left the Junior high from our volleyball games we drove past St. Paul's UMC for about the 100th time since we moved here. It is about 2 miles from our house (I know, DUH) and it is a beautiful old (143 years) church with a ton of history. Kevin attended when he lived here over the summer and wasn't impressed so we didn't bother to go once the girls and I were here. Since we haven't found the "home" we are looking for yet we thought we might want to give it another try. WOW. I don't think we were hit by the lightning bolt of certainty but it is a beautiful church and a great location. The twins haven't gone and Katie didn't attend youth this week but they have what I am looking for to start off, beautiful sanctuary with pews and a traditional service. They have a prayer shawl ministry, a scrapbooking ministry and a bell choir as well as a chancel choir. Kevin has decided that if he can't have Steve that it might as well be a traditional service, the praise bands are just falling short of the Steve benchmark in his mind! We both liked it much to Kevin's surprise. Must have been an off week when he went the last time. I won't say that it is the same as listening to Jeff and feeling like he is talking directly to me, and it isn't like learning from Aubrietta. Sometimes you just find pastors that speak directly to you and no one else has that effect on you. I will say that this pastor could teach Jeff a bit about brevity....Love Jeff's sermons but he can get long winded on occasion as others will attest to. The service today was about 50 minutes start to finish with a baptism and communion to boot! I could get used to that!

I guess what I need to do is keep praying that God will lead us to the right place. We have added yet another coffee mug to our growing collection of church mugs. This one was delivered by a friendly member of the visiting committee this evening to thank us for visiting and invite us back, a nice touch. We will give it a few more weeks and see how it works out. I do need to feel needed though. I don't expect to ever find what we had at Christ UMC again, I miss you guys more than I thought I would. I don't think any of you knew how much of an impact you made on our lives and how much we miss looking over and seeing you worship with us, even if it meant meeting in a hallway for sunday school or setting up tons of chairs each week. Appreciate what you are blessed to have!

Here are a few pics of Halloween, The girls had a few friends over to Trick or Treat with us and they had a good time. As we speak they are downstairs in the living room trying to tell ghost stories and keep each other up before most of us have to get up in the morning to play volleyball! It has been a bit different than most halloween's in our recent past but it was fun just the same! I have to say, I think I like the holiday more as my kids get older!

Megan, Abby, Faith and Ireland ready to go!

Add Katie and MacKenzie to the mix

Katie and Kenzie

Katie's OCD stash organization....

Pink Halloween????

What does it take to make 10 girls days happier?

How about a ride in a Pink Stretch LIMO to school...for FREE! Katie got a call from Sweet and Sassy a few weeks ago letting her know that she had won a free trip to school in their limo. Katie was so excited but I think there was some lingering doubt that her new friends would want to go with her. The excitement quickly waned as she fought the thought that she wanted to do this but still wanted to act like the Junior Higher she is! The offer extended to her sisters and the limo driver offered to take kids to both Portal Elementary where the twins attend and the junior high. Katie had ultimately decided that she was going to let her sisters invite a bunch of friends and she would ride with me and let me take her to school afterwards. All the girls were invited but for some reason we were short one girl. Katie thought it would be better if we weren't cramped in the limo.

What does it take to make one Mom who has been worried about her oldest daughter making good friends here...

Delaney showing up unannounced at 7am because she remembered Katie inviting her two weeks ago. Apparently Katie thought her not mentioning it again meant she wasn't excited about it and decided not to invite anyone else. They had a BLAST!

The girls got to crank up the Hannah Montana tunes and sing their hearts out on the way to school and got to act silly! The driver took the long way around and we took a ton of pics! What a morning!

Now, we just have to get through a Halloween party and trick or treating tonight and get lots of candy! More pics of costumes tonight!

Cold weather and Knitting go together.....

Ok, before I break into song and mangle the words unnecessarily I will stop that line of thinking. It is COLD here, my girlfriends in Arkansas assure me that it is in the 30's there too and I believe them but I also realize that is about as cold as it gets in Arkansas and this is just fall here! The kids don't really believe how very cold cold can be so they are in for a treat this winter I think!

I went to get gas on my way home from taking Katie to school this morning. $2.14! Can you believe that? It only cost me $43 to fill my van. Anyone want part of the action on the new bet I have going? Bets will be taken to see how low gas will get before the election next Tuesday. I am thinking at least $1.99. Bets will also be taken to see how fast it will go back up after Tuesday! We can make side bets regarding whether it goes up faster for which candidate too! Personally I will be filling up on Monday evening and I am thinking of purchasing a few dozen gas cans and prebuying like the gas stations do, only I won't raise the price on myself when I fill my tank with gas I have already paid for!


I am finally knitting again! In the past two days I have knit a hat and scarf that will be for one of my girls for Christmas and yesterday I spent part of the afternoon winding 22 hanks of yarn into balls for my new project. I have been dreaming of this sweater since last winter when I bought the pattern book. Malkini from the Mirasol collection. I am pretty sure I am going to look just like her in it too, all drapy and skinny!The yarn for this puppy is so incredibly soft and it is a hoodie too! While Miski was too expensive for my taste last winter, it was a bargain on Ebay so I am jumping in. I still haven't started Rogue and my excuse will be that this yarn is so much more inviting to knit. Have you ever knit with Jameison Wool? That stuff is scratchy and I am sure I am going to have to take it in small bits if I am going to get that rogue done! I am knitting it in a heathered green with cream and brown for the fair isle parts. I will make sure to post pics as soon as the twins fess up to who stole my camera! You would be proud of me though, I SWATCHED it! And came out right on guage too! I was thinking I may even to up to String of Purls and join in their stitch and bitch today since I am going to be knitting anyway and that is where I bought the pattern!

More posting has been requested...

So Jo thinks that all this extra time I have on my hands will be a good reason to blog more! She has requested that I blog more so that she can have a better idea of what is going on since I am no longer around where she can have frequent updates..... The only problem with that is there is currently nothing to blog about!

My day goes something like this now...
6:30am wake and shower to get ready for the day
7:00am, start making lunches for the girls
7:35am, leave to take Katie to school and in case of inclement weather, deliver the twins to school as well.
8:00am return home to either wait for the bus with the kids from the street so that I can regain control of my driveway.
9:00am (if feeling so motivated) go to gym for an hour
10:30am return home
10:31am sit on couch or at bar in kitchen with my computer and watch a movie or play a game or kill time with a nap, do a load of laundry if necessary; continue until 3:00pm or as needed!
3:05pm leave to pick Katie up
3:20pm return home to meet bus with twins on it
3:21pm, think about cooking dinner, watch kids do homework
3:45pm let the kids finish with homework
6:00pm cook dinner
6:30pm eat dinner
7:00pm argue with kids about which one needs to clean up from dinner
8:00pm get kids in shower
9:00pm get kids in bed
10:00pm go to bed

repeat ad nauseam *until i get a life!

*remove all parts of the day regarding school and homework on weekends and holidays.

Jo, I will work on keeping you up to date if anything happens that stirs up the excitement here! Not looking too good so far but we will see!

Omaha...Again....

It is official, we are back in Omaha. This is the 4th time in the past 15 years that Kevin has been in Omaha. The 5th time we have lived in Nebraska. Katie was born in Kearney when we lived in North Platte 12 years ago. We moved to Omaha when she was 4 months old and had the twins here 8 years ago. We moved away 7 and a half years ago and can honestly say that I haven't missed it since.

The winters are unbearably cold, I don't know how people live further north! It snowed a lot where we lived in California and Oregon but it never got below 32 degrees so it was just pretty. Here it is COLD and WINDY and BITTERY COLD....Did I mention COLD! Can anyone tell I am not looking forward to Winter? That being said it has been beautiful weather since we got here. It has been cool and bug free!

The house is nice, I like it other than the fact that having the laundry off of the kitchen is a pain in the patootie, I would much rather have it upstairs where all of the bedrooms are! I do love having a two story. The paint needs to be changed in the living room but all things considered it is much better than I expected. I have been unpacking like a mad woman and have all of the main floor and the upstairs done and just this afternoon I finished unpacking an office and scrapbooking space that I made do with in the basement. The basement is unfinished but it is a walkout with great west facing windows that let in a lot of light so I set up a temporary office with craft space so that I don't go insane with nothing to do. The last time we moved the twins weren't in school yet so I had them to keep me from going insane with loneliness and boredom. They drove me to get out to keep from being insane with them around under foot all the time. This time the kids started school four days after the movers dropped off all of our stuff so I have been alone a lot and who knew you could unpack a semi in just a week when you are bored! The garage isn't done yet but that isn't my responsibility! Now I am faced with the fact that everything is unpacked and I don't have much else to do. I am so used to being on the PTO or being involved in GS or helping at church that I don't know what to do with myself. I HATE the kids school, I am sure it will pass but the secretary at the elementary was so rude to me the day I had to register the kids that I don't want to walk through the door again much less help with anything. We haven't found a church home yet either, I am used to being one of the involved parties and it is hard for me to walk in and not have friends there. I found myself irrationally annoyed with the lady at the church we visited today for assuming that I NEEDED to take the alpha course that was beginning instead of bothering to find out if I was interested in taking one of the other classes being offered. I know I shouldn't have been annoyed with her but I couldn't help it! I don't know how I will go in and just sit in the background and watch as someone else runs the youth program either. I have this insane need to be needed and I am not feeling needed here at all.

Overall I guess this has been a good move for Kevin and the girls. While they miss their friends they are adjusting very well and the twins are blossoming, making new friends and being in seperate classes has made a huge difference, they are both able to tell me about their days and have something to tell me. I know that Katie is doing well, she misses Amanda and Darla but she is a trooper and realizes that this is what she has to deal with. She starts Volleyball on Wednesday and I can't wait for that! Kevin loves his new job and is so much happier. His stress level is better and that has to be good for him. I guess I just wish I saw any upside for me! All I still feel is that I have been torn away from my support system with no one to talk to. I do have two acquaintances here that I knew last time we were here but when I called them to tell them we were back they both said we should get together for coffee "next month". What the heck is that, my true friends would have been here that day! I guess once you know what true friends are it is hard to go back!

Well, I am going to have to wrap this up, my battery is about to die and it is too late to bother going in to find the charger. I am going to sit out here on the deck with my bottle of wine and my dog with the slobbery tennis ball and my ipod. Before I go, I just want to say that today would have been Sandi's 35th birthday, I thought about you all day Sandi, especially when we walked into church and the first song was a soloist singing Nichole Nordeman's Legacy. I miss you every day and even more now that I don't have my friends to distract me!

A Relay and Mothers/Aunt's Day

I hope everyone out there had a great Mother's day weekend. We started it off with the Relay for Life here in Cabot and we raised money and spent money and walked a lot!

It was much better than last year where we were rained out but we still didn't make it all night long. We did however make plans for us to do it again next month in Rogersville. Sandi loved to walk it and made it all of the years she was able. We walked for her in spirit last year while she was in the hospital and it was difficult to have to write in Memory of instead of in Honor of! Logan and Lauren both lit luminaries for their mom and the ceremony was more meaningful with so many names of loved ones to listen for. We had luminaries in honor and memory of too many people this year, I guess we need to keep working to fund raise to help find the cure! The kids had a good time and we had lots of friends there with us so it was a success! The kids even got to sing karaoke a bit toward the end of the evening!

We spent Saturday geocaching with the Bowies and had a lot of fun until it started raining. Logan is hooked on what he calls "finding geo's" I told him I won't take him again until he calls them caches like everyone else!

Sunday we went to church and tried not to make a big deal about the fact that it was mothers day. Logan and Lauren were spending their first without their mom so we didn't want to point that out all day long. After church I drove the kids back to Harrison where Mike met us to take them home. I can't even tell you how awesome it was to spend the weekend with all five of my kids!

Happy Mother's day to all of you that take care of anyones kids! Yours, mine or ours!

And the hits keep coming...

Dear God,

You know, I didn't make a new year's resolution this year. I decided that I didn't need one. All I wanted out of this year was for it to be better than last year and for things to ease up a little. That said we were starting to get into a routine. Losing Sandi was hard last year, I still cry and think of her daily. I think she is probably the reason I don't blog as often as I should because who wants to have that in their face every day.

We were doing much better and things were moving along smoothly until Aunt Maureen passed away last month from Lung Cancer. Really God, didn't we learn enough from losing Sandra that way? Aunt Maureen was wonderful, she always made Sandi and I crochet animals, we still have them. She also picked out the cutest outfits for Christmas. She was in her 70's and had made peace with her illness but losing her was still hard and had the added effect of bringing to the surface what we went through with Sandi so recently.

Kevin and I left for our cruise to Mexico just two days after I got back from the funeral and had a great time (more on that later, whole other blog!) and I was sure that we could get back to some semblance of normal, plans were being made for the summer and things were ok again.

Those of you who know us well know that Kevin really hates his job here. He loves working for the railroad but this job has sucked all of the joy out of his life. He works constantly and is berated by a boss he is unhappy working for on a daily basis. He is home more often these days but is stressed out and unhappy. That said, he loves it here almost as much as the girls and I do. We have a great home, an amazing church and friends that we all get along with. It is so rare to find four couples where all of the kids and all of the adults get along and become as close as we have. We joke about building a compound on the north side of town and living as neighbors too!

Enter Job Offer...

Last Tuesday I hurt my back and was in a lot of pain not to mention being exhausted after two days of track and field organizing and just wanted to take a muscle relaxer and go to bed but Kevin wanted to "talk". It would seem that he was asked if he would consider a job change, not a bad thing. It would require a transfer to Omaha again, REALLY BAD THING! He throws this at me in a weakened and drugged state and I have to say I wasn't terribly charitable. I know I signed on for this, I have known and been mostly happy about all 9 of our other moves in the past 15 years but we are HAPPY here! Have I mentioned that I love my house, my kids are happy here, I love my jobs, I have the best girlfriends that I could ask for, they have held me up through the worst year of my life. I know that this is all in your timing and not ours but did you happen to see the look on my child's face when I told her Sunday night? Did you have to hold her as she cried her heart out? Now I have children who are miserable, a wonderfully supportive friend, one that starts crying every time I mention the move and one that won't even talk to me.

As I prepare to drive to Missouri this morning to help present the Sandra Gaddy Memorial Scholarship tonight I am excited to get to see Logan and Lauren. You see, they are the hidden casualties here too. Not only did I lose my sister, I have lost touch with her kids. Their current situation excludes me almost totally and now we are having to move farther away from them. Instead of them being in between us and our parents, now they will be two hours out of the way to have to drive to see them. Mike never bothered to visit when Sandi was alive, could you please lay it on his heart to bring them up once in a while now? My heart breaks that I am not a part of their lives now, I don't want to lose them entirely.

So now, I will pack my bags, load the car and drive to Missouri where we will stay in a hotel because I feel like an unwelcome visitor in my sisters home. Tomorrow after the kids go to school, I will go sit in Sandra's closet and cry while I do what the kids and Mike do, sit there surrounded by the smell of her clothes before I pack them all in boxes to donate to the needy. Then I will drive home and begin the process of being a "good railroad wife" and do what I have to, regardless of what I really want. All I ask is that you ease up a bit, I am not sure how many more hits I can stand.

Your loving servant,

me

Funerals and Family Reunions...

My wonderful Aunt Maureen passed away from complications of Lung Cancer a week ago today. Mom and Dad and I flew to Florida on Sunday night so we could be here for her funeral which was held yesterday afternoon. Funerals seem to be defining moments in my life lately, with Sandi last June and now Aunt Maureen, Cancer also seems to be a recurring theme. I am, again this year, leading the team for the Relay For Life for the American Cancer Society. Prayers for better weather this year would be appreciated! If you are interested in donating to the cause, you can do so by clicking on the blog badge on the side of the page to either join our team or give us a donation to help fight cancer in all of its forms (don't even get me started on the Race for the Cure, have an anger issue there!).

One of the things that would have made Aunt Maureen happy was the fact that all of her Kids and most of her grandkids were here for the funeral. It is a crappy way to have a family reunion but I did get to see all of my cousins in the same place at the same time for the first time since I was a child and meet many of their kids for the first time in YEARS! The last time I met them I was in high school and they were sitting at the kitchen table coloring with my dad and this time I was drinking with them (legally!). I am posting a slideshow below of some of the pictures that we took last night. Hopefully we will manage to stay better connected this time! More later, we have more chatting and shopping to do before we go home tomorrow!

I hereby christen you...Nebo Biscuits!

Hold on to your arteries....While I don't recommend this for the faint of heart, (or the high in cholesterol either for that matter) I have to share with you a new recipe that we developed last week while camping.

The girls and I spent the past week camping with Jo and Marty and the girls at Mt. Nebo. I have to recommend this beautiful location if you like to camp, hike, geocache or just plain love high winds! Apparently it is a great location for hang gliding but I think I will stay on solid ground or at least have a vehicle with me when I leave it! No jumping off of cliffs for this gal!

Anyway, I digress...

When you camp with the Bowies and the Hicks, I guarantee you will eat well, VERY well. Jo and I spent a few hours planning meals and then went to wallyworld to buy everything we needed. We had each meal planned out exceptionally well and were managing to stick to it until the unexpected happened! Grands biscuits apparently struggle with pressure and temperature changes and don't like to stay together as well as we would like! At breakfast on Thursday morning we found out that after frying the potatoes and the eggs and the bacon that one of the packages of biscuits had opened up and was sitting in the cooler full of ice and water. They were going to have to be discarded or eaten, one or the other. As we put breakfast on plates I looked into the skillet and realized that I had a whole lot of Bacon grease sitting there and it looked a lot like making donuts. What happened next was pure heaven on a plate, calorie consuming, artery clogging, cholesterol raising, but amazing tasting...Bacon Fried Grands!

They were such a hit that we even saved the rest of the bacon grease and used it the next morning in our quickly appended menu! Try it, you will love it!

The PLAN

Jo and Tammie posted a weight loss plan yesterday. We have done this before. Last time I lost almost twenty pounds and I have only gained back a couple of those, not too bad if you consider I did that over the holidays. The motivation was just not there!

I decided this year to not diet. I decided that I needed to be happy with myself and not tie it to a weight goal for a change. I know that those of you that are skinny will think that I am just giving up and deciding to go with what is easier and since diets didn't work I should just stay fat! Not entirely true. I was inspired by a post here. This woman I have never met did the same thing last year. I have been reading her blog for a few years and she is so real about things.

In honor of her idea and the fact that Jo kicked me in the pants yesterday and told me that we were doing this health thing and there was MONEY involved, I decided to look into making some changes, not a diet so to speak but a CHANGE.

I found a book that I began reading that made me realize that what I really needed was to make changes in a lot of places in my life. I don't expect for that to happen overnight but here are some of the things I have come up with...

1. I need to spend more time with God to keep my priorities straight.
2. I need to eat healthier so that I do not become diabetic with high blood pressure.
3. I need to keep my home organized so that I can find things when I need them.
(sidebar to this, if I was to die tomorrow I would be mortified for someone to have to go
through all of that!) Jo and Stacey and Tammie, sorry but Stacey is on call to clean out the
closet if I die, she will understand that part of me best!
4. I need to be a better example for my kids, I can't expect them to keep their rooms clean if I don't!

What this all boils down to is that I have some changes to make and boy, are they going to HURT! What I do know is that I have girlfriends that will be there to cheer me on and keep me on task, I will join the group of dieters and will make the change but I am not going on a DIET. I am going to start with making changes in my thinking process and see where that gets me!

Here we go.......

Spring Cleaning....

It is 7pm and is still 70 degrees here! Five days ago it snowed and we missed school! Tomorrow it is supposed to be in the mid to high 70's again. I am thinking I could get used to this Arkansas weather! I say that now but will probably still hate it in June-August! After 4 years though it isn't so bad! I may just turn into an Arkansan after all. I won't give in on the Razorback thing, you have to have your standards!

What does the warm weather mean...

SPRING CLEANING!

Those of you who know me well and have been inside the inner sanctum will agree that this is desperately needed. As far as I come off as being organized it is mostly in my head. I am the worlds worst housekeeper, when something needs to be cleaned I tend to shovel it in my office and deal with it later. That allows unsuspecting visitors to think that I know how to clean my house but really I am the worst Clutter-a-holic I have ever known (with the possible exception of my best friends from high school, their family actually had to move to clean and it didn't take long to get back that way!)

Since I am not willing at this time to move...Do you hear that KEVIN! NOT WILLING TO MOVE!...I guess it meant I needed to clean.

My children are just like their mother, SLOBS! I would take pics of their rooms and post them here but I hate to do that to you. We decided that the twins were just too cramped in their small space and needed to be separated since they seem to despise each other and I am tired of all of the fighting. This meant an undertaking of the grandest of undertakings.

We live in a 4 bedroom house that has a cool sitting area off of the master bedroom that has always been my home office. The upstairs was more of a scrapbooking/Home business/guest/kevin's computer room. For the separating to happen, all of this was going to have to be combined in a sitting room and Katie was going to have to move upstairs. I guess four years of looking at what had become a total disaster in our bedroom, Kevin was willing to do anything for me to shovel it out and he said ok to the master plan!

What he didn't realize was how expensive this was going to actually be! To move Katie upstairs we decided to give her our bed, this meant we got a new one! In one of his weaker moments Kevin agreed to a king size bed and bought one in one short day! Agreed to look at church one Sunday morning and bought a bed by 5 that afternoon! And not just any bed, a king size sleep number bed! A bed change like that costs money when you have to replace an entire bedroom suite! Not to mention pillows and sheets and mattress pads and such!

It has taken me days to get the crap out of the office and get the place cleaned out so we can measure for the custom built office we decided to put in. It will be a horseshoe shaped desk with room for all of our computers and the network stuff. There will also be room for all of my scrapbook stuff too. I might be more excited if I didn't know how much work I have ahead of me!

Voting middle school style!

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When you are having a bad day...

This will make you feel better, it helps me!

Memories

I am still amazed how God works in our lives. I have been missing Logan and Lauren almost as much as my sister in past months. I didn't get to see them at Christmas this year which just added insult to injury and have only seen them a couple of times since July.

My greatest fear when Sandi died was that I would lose Logan and Lauren as well. I live 4 hours from them and their Dad's mom has been helping with them as she is lucky enough to live in the same town. I am so glad that the kids have her there, Mike works a lot in his new job and he would be struggling even more without her help and support.

That said, they have kind of gotten into their own routine and unless we call and ask, we are not a part of that routine. Until December, I was not even aware that Logan had started to play the Clarinet in band. (Sandi is cursing whoever made that choice right now, She HATED the clarinet and out of all of the possible instruments that was the ONE she said she didn't want him playing!) I have struggled on the inside with resentment that we seem to be left out of their lives but then I argue with myself that I am just not able to be there. The point is what is best for the kids.

Mom and I were talking and decided that what we really wanted was to be able to spend some time with the kids by ourselves as they were who we were missing the most! Mom brought the kids down last night and it has been so good to see them. I love that Lauren will sit on the couch and cuddle with me. We plan to spend time this weekend just reconnecting. I am sure there will be more on this later.

One of the crazy God things in this whole thing is that I heard from Sandi's college roomate last night, Kathryn hadn't even heard that Sandi was sick, much less had passed away and she has am amazing touching post on her new blog that came at the same time as the kids. I guess we are supposed to be thinking of Sandi right now.

Sandi...We are trying!

Movies....

	My Flixster

Some of you may have noticed...

If you were very observant you may have noticed that I have changed the name of my blog. I hate that I don't have time to knit as much as I would like but it seemed wrong to keep considering my blog to be a knit blog when I haven't picked up needles in months and didn't even attempt to knit anything for anyone else for Christmas. I haven't given up entirely but did decide that it was not really honest to call it a knit blog any longer!

More later!

One more...

Not that I don't love you Tiffany, but the video loop was getting hard to take all the time so I needed to post to make it move to the older posts! Good night!

And she continues......with a glass of wine in hand....

Ok, so Kevin and I went to Omaha for a week in December. Lots of fun,got to see friends we hadn't seen since the twins were 6 months old. Lots of snow, liked that most of all! It was crazy to go to Westroads mall and be where that poor boy killed so many people just a few days before. I did make one of the thousands of snowflakes to put on the wall, when you were there that was just something you felt you had to do. It was very quiet and respectful, sad too. We both had a hard time getting home that week, it was snowing when we left Omaha, I kind of miss that though, I really like snow and to never see it anymore is one of those things that I have to give up. I originally told my friends that I was going to make sure Kevin didn't do anything stupid like get us transferred but I did enjoy it, it is a town that makes me feel like I am at home. It is probably a good idea though that I not go back until we are significantly more wealthy because I did decide not to buy the yarn for the sweater I wanted to knit that would have cost me over $450 to knit but I would have a hard time saying no a second time! Some things are just meant to be! I found that I still love Omaha, it is a great city and feels like home. I still feel like a baby when I am with the people that Kevin works with but that changes every year.

As soon as I got back from Omaha it was time to jump back in to PTO stuff (I may have overloaded myself this year! Repeat after me....I WILL NOT BE THE PTO PRESIDENT EVER AGAIN!...someone hold me to this please, I need to focus elsewhere!)We did the dinner for the teachers and then it was time to be room mom (ok, the above proclamation goes for room mom too!) for (get this) BOTH of the classes that the girls are in! I am team mom for Katie's class of 130 students and the twins class of 25. I actually don't remember signing up for either of these responsibilities but the twins teacher knows me too well and since I sub on Katie's team almost daily they just assumed I would do it! Sadly, they were right! Then it was Christmas break and we had the super fast day at mom and dad's then on to Kevin's mom and dad's for a night and then back home so that I could leave with mom and dad to go to Florida for a few days to see my aunt who has been diagnosed with Lung cancer.


As hard as the first Christmas was without Sandi it was even harder to not be able to see the kids. I miss being in Logan and Lauren's lives so much it hurts, Sandi would come back and haunt me if she could so that just goes to show that God has her busy, really busy or she would be all over me right now! Mom is bringing them down next week so I get to see them soon, Can't wait!
We did have fun in Florida. We took two days to drive down there and then spent three days there and drove home in one. I got to see my cousins Mike and Rick and their respective son's Michael and Ricky (unique huh!). I hadn't seen Mike since the summer I graduated from high school ( that is a story that is entirely too long to blog right now) and hadn't seen Rick since the summer before my Senior year in high school. It was good to see them, better if my other two cousins would have been there too and if it had been under different circumstances. There was a lot of reminiscing about Sandi and dire predictions about my Aunt's prognosis. We took her to the hospital to have a blood test run and it was very strange to be back in a hospital with a cancer patient after spending three months taking care of Sandi last spring. Maureen and Dick both seem to be handling things very well and both have a spiritual view of things, that I guess makes it easier. I still worry about dad and how well he will handle things but that is another blog waiting to happen I suppose.

We got back from Florida late on the 30th and spent new years eve at Stacey and Don's where they made us feel loved as the only Missouri fans in the Razorback state! We did however enjoy the following day when the tigers embarrassed the razorbacks in a major way! It makes you feel good to me a Missourian!

Of course Kevin got to watch the game while I drove to Missouri again (on about an hour of sleep) to pick up the girls!

A few days at home and the kids finally went back to school for a day before I had to leave for Dallas where I got to attend a school for youth ministry. It was a great week and I will save a lot of that for another time when I have more time to go into everything I discovered that week. I am still tired from that trip, classes all day and fellowship each evening left me tired and I have been so pumped up about my ministry since my return that I find it hard to stop working! I may need to take a break and practice my new found skills at texas hold-em! And finally, for those of you who wanted to see a pic of me with short hair(you know who you are)...here ya go....

Milk Tea & Noro

Does it get any better than that? I got home from Dallas at 1:30 am on Friday morning after an amazing faith filled week and found on my doorstep a package from the other side of the ocean! My dear friend Tiffany sent us a care package filled with goodies. The girls have been having a fun time trying to figure out what was in each of the packages. As I sit here eating asparagus sticks (really good) and drinking a glass of Milk Tea (really, REALLY good, you were right Tiff) I am looking at the remains of what was probably at one time a cookie similar to a fig newton. Sadly, plastic wrapped goodies don't hold up well to customs as they appear to have been taken out of the box, tossed around for a while with a tennis racket and crushed by some large object before being determined to be non-threatening and not of interest to national security and being replaced to be cushioned by my new yarn! Question Tiffany...Do you make REALLY Freakin Big socks on those DPN's? I love you gal, now Katie is really on board with a trip to Japan as soon as possible to visit!

I know that I have not posted to my blog in way longer than is excusable however, before you scream at me or begin emailing me nastygrams it has been a really long month and I have been wracking up the frequent flyer miles and putting an insane number of miles on the van! Travel with me if you will, waaaaayyyy back to the beginning of December when the madness and craziness got going.....


To be continued...