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Birthday's and Girlfriend's

I wouldn't say that I would like to have one every day but I Love birthday's. I know there are some out there that don't like to get older but I like to think that I get wiser each year too. I look back over the past year and think of how much has changed since my last birthday. I thought that perhaps this would be a sad birthday with Sandi gone but what I realized is that even though she is not with us today, God has placed so many wonderful women in my life that I now have more sister's than I ever could have dreamed of. They can't ever replace her in my heart but I do know that my heart is big enough to handle all of them. My girlfriends have gone out of their way to make today a special day for me. They had a cake at VBS for me today and took me out tonight to dinner and one even left a gift in the mailbox so I can have coffee in the morning! Thank you Tiffany! I love that I have the kind of friends that help you through those trying times and help you celebrate the good ones!

Rooster-itis

Last thursday, Courtney and I went to have lunch at Sandi's favorite restaurant, Spring Creek Tea House. This is a beautiful tea house set inside a fun and deceptively large antique shop in Ozark, Missouri. It is a fun place, Sandi and I never managed to eat there because they are only open five days a week for four hours a day and it never seemed to fit into our busy schedule.

One of the fun parts is that there is always a wait. What to do while you wait? Why, Shop of course! Stalls and stalls of antiques and old junk! Talk about a great way to redo your kitchen when you decide that you want to use roosters instead of the nothing that you had before! I have in the past used apples and sunflowers and much to my suprise, they both found a place in the new decor!



Much of the stuff was inexpensive which will allow me to be able to afford the dishes and rugs and other things to go in the kitchen too!

Time for me to go help Kevin get the garage cleaned out but I just had to show off the roosters!

DeColores!

Cute Kids

Hard to believe that this was taken after Sandi's funeral. The kids look happy and loved. Sandi would have been so proud of them! Megan and Abby are in the pink and blue dresses respectively and Katie is the tall one! Logan and Lauren are destined not to be giants I think! Can you believe that he is 15 months OLDER than Katie!

I know those of you reading this who are not family are probably tired of hearing about the kids and Sandi and want me to get on with the knitting but after spending a few days with the kids this week and becoming more a part of their lives I can't help but talk about them. I can't tell you how happy it made me to have Logan and Lauren come running to me when we walked in the door to get hugs. Logan and Katie have always been close and I knew him better than Lauren but while Sandi was hospitalized we got to know them so much better. I am so proud to help raise them the way Sandi would have wanted! I need to be involved in that!

We spent half of Thursday and a lot of Friday going through Sandi's closet. She had made notes of who was to do what for her if she did not beat this thing, and at the top of the list was "Kristi cleans out my closet!" It was not an easy job, emotionally or physically. I can't tell you how happy I was to do it! For those of you who do not know Mike, he is a neat freak. He likes to have his house "showcase ready" at a moments notice. Sandi and I grew up together, we kept house basically the same way until we each got married. You scheduled a day a week to clean and you did the whole thing that day. The rest of the week was just clutter control occasionally and dishes. Mike would vaccuum twice a day if he could. I say this in the kindest way possible of course, this always drove me insane! Anyway, Sandi had begun over the past 13 years or so to keep house like Mike and that was her way of appeasing him.

THEN THERE WAS THE CLOSET! I can't say anything, mine is exactly the same. While for Mike and Logan and Lauren the closet has that smell that was Sandi and they can see the clothes she wore everyday, for me the closet represented the fact that I really didn't lose that part of her that was the Sandi I remembered growing up. She kept her clutter and mess hidden from public view but she really hadn't changed all that much. Just like me, she needed that space to call her own and she did. Aside from all of the clothes and shoes that were too small for me to wear (Jami made out like a bandit though) I found the memories. They weren't wrapped up in the items themselves, just in the fact that I got to see the REAL Sandi in that closet! I won't tell you how many purses there were in there that had all of her reciepts (dating back to 2002 and before) and lipsticks, anyone who knew her knew about her lipstick addiction. Ok, I will tell you about the lipstick, there were 9, NINE, yes...NINE Raisinberry lipsticks and 5 Suede lipsticks in those purses, not to mention a slew of chapsticks and burts bee's lip colors. That was the Sandi I knew and loved. While she may have just wanted me to be the one to do that job to help Mike not have a coronary, I like to think that she knew how much I needed that. Thank you Sandi!

Life Goes On

Wasn't there a TV show with that title once? It is true however. This was our first big holiday since we lost Sandi and it was not as bad as you might think. The 4th of July was always big for us. Even as kids we used to celebrate Christmas in July with family friends and made a big deal out of a summer celebration. We tried to get together each year, sometimes it worked, other times it didn't. Sandi and I used to park cars for the Rolla Lions Club Carnival. We loved it, it was hot and tiring but the money was good and we got to see everyone that was there and had spending money.

Today I went in to town with Dad to do his radio show with him and then we came home to get ready to barbecue for dinner. I made five batches of ice cream for dessert and we all spent a fun afternoon just hanging out. Gene and Sarah (Mike's dad and his wife) and Bert and her son and his two girls came out to join Mom and Dad and Kevin and I and the girls and Mike and the kids. We had an early dinner and Mike took Katie and Logan and Lauren to the carnival for a while. My ankle is still swollen and sore from last weekends sprain so I decided to sit this year out.

Before they left we did manage to plant a tree at mom and dad's for Sandi. Dad has always planted trees for important people in his life, Sandi and I each have a tree in the front yard, as do all of the kids and certain deceased pets. We decided that we needed to plant a pretty flowering tree for Sandi so we decided on a Pink flowering dogwood.

I think I am going to go enjoy a slice of my birthday cake that Mom and Katie made for me. It is my favorite and I need to have some before everyone else gets some and there is none left for me!

More to come...

One Month

It dawned on me sometime yesterday afternoon that it was the one month anniversary of Sandi's death. How fitting that we decided to get together with some of her old friends that were in town. I don't know if it was the fact that it was a holiday eve or the fact that it was a Tuesday night but there were not many of us there. Those of us that were had a good time though. Mike was there with Kevin and I and we also met Maggie, Tina, Tanya and Chris. We closed down the place and had fun sharing memories of all things Rolla.

Earlier in the day I went to see yet another friend from home. Sue, or Susan as she goes by now had her first book signing for her new book, "The Lifter of My Head." She is an amazing woman who I have known since the 6th grade and she wrote this book that is a christian perspective on dealing with postpartum depression. She is one of those rare women, like my sister, who can take a terrible experience and allow God to use her to help others. Rather than hanging her head and trying to hide the fact that she suffered through what can be a very debilitating and isolating condition, she has gathered strength and decided to help others that are going through the same situation or even someone who has a loved one that has PPD. My heart breaks for her that she had to go through this but I see what a strong woman she has become and it is inspiring.

Well, I am off to be on Dad's radio show this morning. I will post pictures of our 4th of July fun tomorrow. Have a happy and safe 4th!